50/50

Did you know that you are not ALWAYS supposed to be happy?

That’s right. Though the world would have us think that striving for ‘happy’ 24/7 is the goal in life, it is not.

Is ‘happy’ even the goal? Tell me, do you know the difference in happiness and joy yet? This concept didn’t even enter my realm until my 40’s and it took me a long minute to fully understand the concept itself.

Allow me to explain further. Happy is fleeting. It comes and goes with the wind. A fast food drive through is a great description. You get the food, you are happy, and an hour later, you are not. Maybe you are miserable, let down, hungry again or bloated…maybe you remain full. however, the happy has flown the coop. Or a trip to Disney World. A lot of happy is happening on a trip to Disney. Once you leave, however, the happiness dwindles. It was dependent upon the circumstance.

Joy is not fleeting. Joy is an emotion you can come back to with a memory and that memory can spark love and light in your heart over and over and over. It’s everlasting. That is joy.

Our lives can be filled with joy, but it isn’t permanent either… though it can be drawn upon.

Understanding the 50/50 concept is freeing.

If we know that 50% of the time we will be happy and joyfilled, and 50% of the time we will feel otherwise so much pressure is relieved. We know there is nothing wrong with us! And that is the concept in a nutshell. Striving for happiness all day everyday is not possible and if that is your expectation of you, I invite you to let that expectation go. Bad days, problems to solve, and hurdles to jump are normal in life. Sometimes they bring us down. Sometimes they lift us up.

And where would we be without the less than happy 50%? How would we even know happy or appreciate joy if we felt it all the time? If we had no contrast or bitterness to compare with the joy and uplifting feeling of happiness, how would we appreciate happiness?

So not being happy 100% of the time is incredibly normal - by any standard.

Do you want more happiness?

Now if you’d prefer a better split. Let’s say 75% happy and 25% less than…I think that is possible too. And guess where it begins? The ability to change how you feel is based in your awareness of how you think. It’s that simple. It’s all about your thoughts.

After all, we think the way we feel and we feel the way we think. (Joe Dispenza) It’s a constant loop.

What do I mean by all this? Well, if you are the type of person who reacts to everything in the environment, you might be rather unhappy and out of sorts a lot. Your feelings are dependent upon how others behave and what others are doing and saying around you if you are reacting to what’s going on. Your thoughts are all over the place, and your feelings are all over the place when we have knee jerk reaction after knee jerk reaction.

What if you were aware of your thoughts? What if you were aware of the crazy environment and how it affects you? What if you tuned a few things out? Tuning out the news is a great example of how changing what you are thinking about will change how you feel. What if you knew that one person at work really riles you up and you choose not to get sucked in…”Sorry, I don’t have time for angry and unfulfilled today!” You might exit the conversation differently, but not being dragged into, or willingly participating in, a negative conversation is key to your emotional state. If your thoughts are full of negativity, your feelings will be also.

Per Dr. Joe Dispenza, every time we think a thought a chemical is released in our brains! The chemical determines how we feel.

Life Coach Brooke Castillo teaches a model for self coaching and changing our thoughts. It’s incredibly simple and effective and at the core, it’s all about the thoughts in our heads. We think about or react to a circumstance, a feeling results, we take action from what we feel and our results come from our actions. She actually ties your results in life to HOW you think.

Awareness

So if you have the ability to be aware of what you are thinking, you have the ability to choose thoughts that uplift vs thoughts that do not! I’ve even learned to catch myself and bounce back before the negative loop spiral hits! It takes practice, but it is so worth it and doable!

If you find yourself in the less than mode of life quite a bit, I encourage you to shine a light on your thoughts. Or if you FEEL sad or angry more than anything else, shine a light on your thoughts. We can become accustomed to and even addicted to feelings created by our thoughts because they are so familiar they seem true. Shine the light. Even if the thought that is causing the pain is true, does it deserve so much of your focus?