The Biggest Shift: Do You Have The Guts Ep. 17

Hello Friends! Today we are talking about the shift that happened for me after going through each podcast in the shift series. It’s been quite a revelation!

If you’ve been working on a shift throughout this series, I wonder what you’ve been noticing. I’d love to hear more if you’d like to drop me a line at Heather@Becomethenew.com. 

The Surprise Revealed

My biggest shift has been surprising.  Really surprising tome.  It centers around time management.  I never ever would have guessed that time friggin management would be my biggest break through, but it certainly has been.

I actually hired a coach because of this time managment thing.  I needed someone to literally show me the steps because something, some ingredient I needed was missing in my formula for how to spend my time.  All throughout 2022 I blabbed about being intentional with my time, but i felt zero results from my approach to time.

I think I became more present on accident. 

The thing is though, I didn’t really know where my time was going. Of course I have chunks of work time, personal time, homeschool time, exercise and appointments.  But the only time in my dat that was strictly accounted for and scheduled was exercise and appointments.  And come to think about it, I have seen upgrades in my strength.  So once I began this new practice of understanding my alums an goals and having those values and goals drive my time, I began to feel headway.

It’s traumatic for a perfectionist to face and tackle procrastination and dysfunction in a to do list. And y’all, it’s not just work.  It’s family, work, homeschool, my business, taking care of house, taking care of food for a family of 3 and 2 dogs, all the adulting stuff.  The list adds up and the requirements of our lives create busiwork through the seasons of our lives.

But I want more than busy.  I want to feel like I LIVE my life and like I HELP people in my business.

By figuring out what was important and why (my goals and values) I saw my goals and daily steps not in alignment with my business mission and life values.

How can so much of my life revolve around home school and life values and then diverge when it comes to business goals?  How can I expect to have both goals come together if they do not line up with one another.   I was wanting to spend more than half my day with Jack and homeschooling and half my day working on a full time coaching business.

What ended up happening was me getting rid of competing values once I realized I had them.  Isn’t that funny?  I did a whole podcast episode not too long ago about defining values and what is important to you and basing your time on those values.

That’s when all of this popped up for me.  I had a big aha moment just understanding that I wanted two completely different things from the same time in the day.

The Goals

1.   Homeschool - this is a value that I live by...and it serves a bigger family goal we have.  It is also a way of life and it’s something I feel passionate about. 

2.   Creating a full time practice of teaching and coaching adults in nutrition and mindset.

3.   Sharing plexus and helping others heal and grow while generating an income and showing others how to do so as well.

These were my big goals for 2023.  1 and 3 work together for the most part.  #2 not so much.  (Have I mentioned that I also have a few clients that take up 20+ hours of my time per week!?)

One of these goals didn’t belong. It’s made me reevaluate how to grow in service of other while serving my family in such an intimate role as homeschool teacher. I decided to get aware of my schedule and dig in to how to be more effective with my time…I realized i had goals that really didn’t support each other and that is why choosing priorities during focus time was so dang tough.

So this experience has been such an eye opener for me.  I am finally feeling good about how I’m spending my time.  I must acknowledge the frustration of noticing when I was in my own way.  A few insights from noticing my aggravating self:

• I learned to immediately offer myself grace. 

• And secondly to question why I was doing what I was doing, avoiding what i was avoided or what was I seeking relief from?

When you pinpoint the feeling you’re avoiding see what you can notice about it. 

Next time work on feeling it and not avoiding it.  That’s what I did. Instead of cleaning or vacuuming I’d ask myself what am I avoiding…oh? That again?  Or I just don’t know what to do first – avoiding confusion. That feeling comes from the thought ‘I have too much to do’

You’ll know that the feeling passes once you allow yourself to feel it. My point to all this is…You don’t have to cave to it - eat what it tells you to eat, drink what it tells you to drink or sleep the day away.  You can be with the icky feeling until it lifts and win the battle that you’re driving through. 

 We are not taught to feel and get through our feelings without pushing them away or thinking negatively about them if they are not 100% good.

Aligning the Goals & Values

First, I fixed my goals.  That goal of being a full time teacher of adults does not fit into my lifestyle right now.  Working that angle part time isn’t very effective either.  The goal of being a teacher of mindset to students does not have to be on the back burner though.  You see, I am also certified in the kids version of my mindset course as well.  Clarity Catalyst for Kids. 

So I changed up my goals, I still feel good (and scared) of them, and all of a sudden I see time when the kids course can fit in because not it is more important than the list of 100 other ideas I have in process. 

I have a trial run launching this June and well, it will be an initial run, not a trial!  So many things to figure out and fine tune, but in the 2023 and 2024 school year, we will be hosting a kids mindset course.  Maybe more than one…on Mondays!  What a great way to begin the week right? And this is what I am always talking about and wishing I’d had growing up!  Real life training for real life! 

I Still Feel Resistance to the new goal

NOW I am much more clear on what needs work when and I’ve put A LOT of ideas and dreams on the backburner for later.  I’m not giving up on anything, but I can clearly see what needs my focus now.  And there is still a LOT of resistance!  Because it is new!  My brain is throwing everything it can at me to keep me safe and in my comfort zone.  So I fell prey to the idea that something new that will create a wonderful life will be easy.  Duh.  New ambitions are never easy.  They might be fun and exciting and filled with growth, but rarely are they easy.

Keeping It Real

Talking about biggest shifts, I have to share WHY on earth I thought to go for the kids course and shift my plans around for the biz.  I mean the insight was profound when I figured it out, but why bother?  You’ll love this, and I wanna be transparent. Even I think I’ve got it together when I scroll through my social media, but I am figuring stuff out just like you. 

Yes I’m so real that I face rejection!! Just like you!  We applied which stressed me out.  And we were rejected!  The worst feeling.

Staying out of the spiral

HOWEVER, I only spent about one day feeling worthless and freaked out.  I only spent one day freaking out over what I must have said or done wrong or what false impression I must have given for them not to have chosen us!

I noticed my thoughts.  I chose a new mantra. 

I refused to let homeschool reject stick and the spiral was overcome.  I lived through that to say what in the heck are we going to do next year?  I prayed about it.  And it occurred to me that I am certified and THIS mindset course IS WHAT I WANT TO TEACH…I had simply never put kiddos in the forefront of my teaching for some crazy reason. It was always a side gig or something planned for the future….silly me!

A new goal was born and that is the scary thing I am talking about but those goals and values are now in alignment and I am able to WAY BETTER FOCUS my time!  I am back to effective writing time and I know where to spend my other creative time as I’ve got a semester long class to teach and market for next fall!!

Shift: Word of the Year

I don’t know if you know, but shift is one of my words for the year.  As I put this series together I was preaching to myself more than anyone else in the world.  I can really see that now.  Through sharing concepts for transformation and creating a shift in the lives of others, I created one of the biggest shifts in my life so far…

I must take a minute to say thank you to all of the friends and fans (crazy) out there who have taken a moment to wish me well and let me know that you are enjoying the podcast!  Thank you!

I hope today’s episode has encouraged you to reflect on your shift, what you hope to see in your life and why it is or is not coming together!  Do you have competing goals.  If you do, do you have the guts to really dig in to your feelings and thoughts to understand why your goals and values are not aligned?  If you feel like a hot mess with no grasp on your schedule, why is that?  Why aren’t you planning your time effectively? 

Do you have the guts to continue growing and
shifting into the person you are meant to become?

Until next time, stay curious!