Feel the Feels.

Sometimes it’s a feeling that shows me a thought.

This past summer I found myself sneaking out of the house early in the morning…to go buy water! Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? I was hanging with my mother-in-law while my brother-in-law and sister-in-law traveled, and I wanted a few of those large 2.5 gallon jugs of water. (I have a serious relationship with hydration.)

But WHY was I sneaking around like I was doing something bad??? I finally stopped and asked myself this riveting question, “Why on earth do I feel like I need to sneak around to go buy water?”

You see, it was the feeling of sneaking around that occurred to me first. I wasn’t thinking, “Let me sneak out of here to do this…” I simply felt the feeling. Until I questioned the sentiment, I didn’t understand it at all really. Ultimately I didn’t want to be questioned or told my desire for a giant jug of water was unnecessary.

Sometimes we are not consciously aware of the thought driving our feelings. Apparently sometimes we act without thinking or questioning. Once you do discover a pattern of behavior that is making you feel weird, uncomfortable or any emotion you are not used to, I invite you to allow yourself the option to simply feel it. Identify what you are feeling. Ask yourself what you are thinking to drive this feeling. One thing I have learned for sure, there is always a thought driving the feeling.

This can work both ways. If you are working with your inner critic and getting aware of your thoughts, BUT you cannot seem to put a finger on what exactly is bugging you…tune in to how you are feeling.

For many, many, many years I suffered from mood swings. Lots of thoughts coming and going, most of which were negative, and I knew I was ‘moody,’ but I had no real concept of what was driving the frustrating change. Finally I asked myself ‘what is this FEELING’ in total exasperation. It took time to understand that I felt surprisingly unsatisfied, and there wasn’t anything that was going to change the way I felt other than a shift in hormones. Dissatisfaction is no joke. Now I still get that feeling from time to time, but because I have cleaned up my thoughts, I am no longer moody or insolent. Simply understanding the feeling allowed me to feel it and let go of anger, sadness or giant swing surrounding it.

No one teaches us this art of allowing. No one explains that we have so much more control than we can imagine surrounding how we feel simply by having an awareness of our thoughts. No one explains how to feel an emotion or why. For some feeling and releasing or moving through an emotion comes naturally, but for most of us it isn’t that easy.

Not wanting to feel that uncomfortable emotion of dissatisfaction or anger or disappointment is so often why we seek a numbing agent like alcohol, binge watching tv, or over spending. If we were taught that feeling it allows it to pass, just imagine how different life might be?

Feeling our emotions and not getting tied up in shame or judgement of them is powerful. Changing our thoughts to change how we feel on a daily basis is beyond powerful.

Check out the Inner Critic post and The Inner Critic Podcast Episode to create an awareness around your dialogue with yourself, and before you jump to numb, ask yourself about that feeling you are evading. Feeling it just might be enough to allow it to pass and help you feel better. What if you simply spent some time noticing the feeling?

Body Scanning is an excellent way to understand what your body is feeling. Body scan guided meditations are also very helpful to understand more about feeing the feels. Utilizing this method when you begin to feel unhappy, resistant or unsatisfied enhances your ability to get present which is key in feeling your way through emotions.

Ultimately- don’t be afraid to feel what you are feeling. Actually tuning in can help uncomfortable feelings pass.